hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
