remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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