we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
