You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
