It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
