so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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