I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
