It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Be still, my beating vagina.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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