is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize