Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
