R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
