I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
