Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize