I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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