It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
