You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
