theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
