I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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