covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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