he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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