so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
