let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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