wakey wakey hands off snakey
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize