Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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