Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
