i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
