next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
