I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
