My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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