You work out of a Hotel?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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