let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
