Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
