sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
