Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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