I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
