my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
