There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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