i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
