I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
