I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
