my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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