Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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