HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
