Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
not ubering you a puppy
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
