Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
