It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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