brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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