I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
