This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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