i just wanna soil my oats bro
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
