I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
