Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
