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doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
