Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
