I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
