Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
