suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
