are you still at the devil's house?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
