I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
