i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize