My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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