I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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