I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
