there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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