it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Acid is not a monday night drug
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
