ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
