Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
