she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
