You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize