I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
