....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
