did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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