my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
