yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
